Change Your Negative Thinking About Your Relationship Part 2

Photographer: Alex Iby Source: Unsplash

Nurture Positive Characteristic Traits in a Relationship

As a private therapist, I provide support to couples of all ages. The relationships that thrive have a strong foundation of respect, trust, and love. Couples who have positive thoughts about their partners express their feelings and behaviors in a positive manner as well. This in return nourishes the relationship to be strong even under difficult circumstances.

The Five Love Languages

When I begin to see a couple in private therapy, I always ask them about their love language. If a couple is not sure about them, then I ask them to take a short quiz. There are 5 different types, they are:

  1. Words of affirmation- Verbal compliments
  2. Acts of service- “Actions speak louder than words”
  3. Receiving gifts- Meaningful or thoughtful gifts
  4. Quality time- Undivided attention
  5. Physical touch- Giving hugs, kisses, etc.

**To learn about these 5 love languages, then go to this blog.

After the couple has taken the quiz, then I ask them to share their results with their partners. In a relationship, it is important to foster love by speaking each other’s love language. When you do this, then the body naturally begins to release oxytocin, love hormone.

The 5:1 Ratio

In order for a relationship to thrive, the 5:1 ratio is key. For every re-direct, then 5 positive interactions need to occur. Typically, relationships end because there is more negativity than positivity. Couples who have a hard time remembering positive memories or characteristic traits about their partners lead to breaking up.

Assess Your Relationship

Active communication is crucial in all relationships. It’s important to assess what types of behaviors are healthy and unhealthy in the relationship. Then actively work together to make changes toward the right direction. Remember, a perfect relationship does not exist, but rather, two people who love and respect each other enough to continuously work toward a better relationship.