Parenting Strategies to Support School Engagement

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This blog was written by Jacqueline Rhew, LCPC.  I met Jacqueline while collaborating for the Illinois Association of School Social Workers Conference in 2020.  Jacqueline was the keynote speaker for more than 600 school social workers throughout the state of Illinois.  She has extensive experience working with families.  She recently wrote in English and Spanish a few tips for parents to support their children to return back to school.  Please read below to gain some insight on the strategies that she has to share.

Parenting Strategies to Support School Engagement:

Students typically report a higher level of school engagement and motivation when they experience routine, consistency and predictability in their home. The switch to an eLearning or even hybrid education model in response to the pandemic has certainly presented challenges to this. While parents have dedicated themselves to navigating this change as successfully as possible, many are finding this process challenging and even overwhelming.

With that in mind, and as we prepare to enter the second half of a school year that has been filled with so much uncertainty, I wanted to provide some helpful tips for parents to continue supporting their children and teens.

SOME HELPFUL TIPS

A.  IN-PERSON and Virtual LEARNING: Ensure that your child understands the expectations around school attendance and work completion.

B.  Create a realistic plan outlining key expectations and privileges. Attempt to focus on expectations for school engagement, hygiene, and household responsibilities.

C. Discuss the privileges earned for meeting expectations, trying not to allow the child to have access to the privileges if expectations are not being met. This can be challenging for many parents, especially if the child is struggling emotionally, however the consistency will in fact help support the child.

D.  Try to identify obstacles to setting and following through with expectations. For some parents its fear, guilt or concern that the child may become combative in the home environment, especially regarding limits around electronic use. If this is the case, seek additional support. Try to avoid power struggling and becoming reactive or aggressive, but rather take breaks and reassess plan if necessary.

IF YOUR CHILD IS STRUGGLING ENGAGING IN E-LEARNING

1.   Encourage the child to brainstorm solutions for engagement, such as a standing desk (I have used an ironing board ), workstation outside of bedroom, etc. Your child may say ‘I do not care about school’. Avoid power struggles, simply remind child about choices and expectations. Sometimes, creating a fun workstation that minimizes distractions may help!

2.   See if the social worker or school personnel can connect with your child virtually or in the building to help the child build connections.  

3.   Review healthy coping strategies for stress.

4.   Celebrate your child’s successes with time with one or both parents in an enjoyable activity, favorite dinner, extra electronic time!!!! 

5.   Help by eliminating distractions in the child’s bedroom that could prevent your child or teen from school engagement or getting enough sleep including having a tv in the room, video games etc.

6.   Review expectations the day before returning to school, especially following a weekend or break from school.

7.   Keep the lines of communication open, having conversations with your child when you and the child are calm. Try asking some questions, but also listening to your child’s thoughts and feelings. 

8.   Communicate with your school if there are school concerns.

9.   Seek supports from your child’s school, pediatrician, local counseling agency or hospital program. Contact your school student service office for a full list of resources.

10. Try to stay calm as challenging as this can be!

Keep in mind that it will take a few weeks of consistency to see a noticeable shift in your child’s behaviors, with the goal leading to school engagement. It will also be important to partner with the child’s school staff to provide support for your child, as well as receive support for yourself. 

En Español

Este blog fue escrito por Jacqueline Rhew, LCPC. Conocí a Jacqueline mientras colaboraba con ella para la Conferencia de la Asociación de Trabajadores Sociales Escolares de Illinois en 2020. Jacqueline fue la oradora principal de más de 600 trabajadores sociales escolares en todo el estado de Illinois. Tiene una amplia experiencia trabajando con familias. Recientemente, escribió en inglés y español algunos consejos para que los padres ayuden a sus hijos a regresar a la escuela. Lea para obtener información sobre las estrategias que tiene que compartir.

Estrategias de crianza para apoyar la participación escolar:

Los estudiantes generalmente informan un mayor nivel de participación y motivación en la escuela cuando experimentan la rutina, la coherencia y la previsibilidad en su hogar. El cambio a el aprendizaje en línea en respuesta a la pandemia ciertamente ha presentado desafíos. Muchos padres han encontrado esta situación desafiante y abrumadora.

Mientras nos preparamos para regresar a la escuela, quería brindar algunos consejos útiles para que los padres continúen apoyando a sus hijos y adolescentes. 

Consejos Útiles

A.  El aprendizaje en persona o en línea: Asegúrese de que su hijo comprenda las expectativas sobre la asistencia a la escuela y la finalización del trabajo.

B.  Cree un plan realista que describa las expectativas y los privilegios. Intente concentrarse en las expectativas de participación escolar, higiene y responsabilidades del hogar.

C. Discuta con sus hijos los privilegios que obtienen por cumplir con las expectativas. Trate de no permitir que sus hijos tengan acceso a sus privilegios si no cumplen con las expectativas. Esto puede ser un desafío para muchos padres, especialmente si su hijo está luchando emocionalmente, sin embargo, la coherencia realmente ayudará a apoyar al niño.

D.  Trate de identificar qué hace que sea difícil establecer o cumplir con las expectativas para su hijo. Para algunos padres, es miedo o culpa. A otros les puede preocupar que su hijo se vuelva agresivo en casa, especialmente si el uso de los dispositivos electrónicos por parte de su hijo es limitado. Si este es el caso, busque apoyo adicional. Trate de evitar discutir y volverse reactivo o agresivo, pero tome descansos y reevalúe el plan si es necesario.

SI SU HIJO TIENE LUCHA POR PARTICIPAR EN EL APRENDIZAJE EN LÍNEA 

1.   Anime a su hijo a pensar en soluciones para la participación, como un escritorio de pie (He usado una tabla de planchar ), estudiar fuera de su dormitorio, etc. Su hijo puede decir “No me importa la escuela”. Evite discutir con ellos, simplemente recuérdele a su hijo las opciones y expectativas. ¡A veces, crear una estación de trabajo divertida que minimice las distracciones puede ayudar!

2.   Vea si el trabajador social de la escuela u otro personal de la escuela pueden hablar con su hijo virtualmente o en el edificio para ayudarlo a establecer conexiones personales.  

3.   Repase con su hijo estrategias saludables para afrontar el estrés.

4.   ¡Celebre los éxitos de su hijo! ¡Recompénselos con una actividad divertida, una cena favorita o dándoles tiempo extra con sus dispositivos electrónicos!!!

5.   Ayude a su hijo a eliminar las distracciones de su dormitorio que podrían impedirle participar en la escuela o dormir lo suficiente. Las distracciones pueden incluir tener un televisor, videojuegos, etc.

6.   Revise las expectativas el día antes de regresar a la escuela, especialmente después de un fin de semana o un descanso de la escuela.

7.   Comuníquese regularmente con su hijo. Haga preguntas, pero también escuche los pensamientos y sentimientos de su hijo. Solo tenga conversaciones cuando tanto usted como su hijo estén tranquilos.  

8.   Comuníquese con la escuela de su hijo si tiene inquietudes.

9.   Busque el apoyo de la escuela de su hijo, el pediatra, la agencia de asesoramiento local o el programa hospitalario. Comuníquese con la oficina de servicios para estudiantes de su escuela para obtener una lista completa de recursos.

10. Por más desafiante que esto pueda ser, ¡recuerde tratar de mantener la calma!

Recuerde que se necesitarán algunas semanas de consistencia para notar un cambio en el comportamiento de su hijo, con el objetivo de mejorar la participación escolar. También es importante asociarse con el personal de la escuela de su hijo para brindar apoyo a su hijo, así como recibir apoyo usted mismo.

Reduce Your Child’s Anxiety

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INTRODUCTION

As a school social worker at Mannheim Middle School and private therapist at Olimene Counseling Inc., I have seen a rise in children experiencing anxiety. The changes that have occurred this year have disrupted routines. Many children in the United States continue to do remote learning; they have had to re-learn new norms and expectations as students. This experience can be anxiety provoking. As a result of this, I collaborated with my colleague from my school district, Marcela Cook, and a client who is a parent to put together this blog and presentation. Therefore, my goal is to introduce you to the basics about anxiety and to organize the way that you share this information with your child(ren).

Presentation: https://bit.ly/3no8uQW

BRAIN ANATOMY

First, children need to learn about the brain anatomy in order to understand anxiety. When they understand about fight, flight, and freeze, then they understand why they experience anxiety. Once children understand the anatomy of the brain, then they feel more empowered and in control of their emotions.

Understanding Anxiety & Fight, Flight, and Freeze
Learning About the Upstairs & Downstairs Brain

I-STATEMENTS

Then it is crucial that you teach your children healthy coping strategies. Children need to first learn how to use I-statements to further develop their communications skills (e.g., I feel________ because ________). When children can effectively communicate how they feel, then they can develop healthy relationships with people and be able to self-advocate. As a therapist, I like to teach children these skills by using the Zones of Regulation Curriculum and teaching them to create their own mood-meter.

Practice I-Statements Using the Mood Meter

MINDFULNESS

Additionally, another healthy coping strategy that is useful for children is mindfulness. When children learn to be mindful, then they learn to be present in the moment. At a young age, children need to understand that it is fine to experience uncomfortable feelings. Life is not always easy and experiencing unbalance is part of life. When they are experiencing a challenging situation, then they need to learn how to center themselves.

Practice Mindfulness by Focusing Your Attention to the Colors and Shapes

CONCLUSION

I hope you find the information helpful and useful for your children. Please feel free to contact me through this site and/or you can follow me on Twitter/ Instagram.